operation harelip BJ is a go
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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