Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
