For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
