I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
