i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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