Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
