u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
it's like heaven, but drunker
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
