I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize