Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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