Don't make out with my wife yet
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
