my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
