Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
