did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
