I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
