Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize