I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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