i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
