I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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