Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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