the day after is always just damage control
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
