He told me they were just razor bumps!
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
