I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize