yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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