shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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