There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
