have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
