He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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