he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
