Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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