STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
