It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
