Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
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