ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
