batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
