nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
