I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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