This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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