I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
