I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
