We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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