youre lurking in front of me
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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