Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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