Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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