I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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