So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
