know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
