Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
