We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
where are my eyebrows?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
