I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
