That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Just puked most of my soul out..
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
