super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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