I just cut my nipple shaving
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize