I think scott just propositioned me for sex
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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