this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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