three words: i give head
three words: not that well
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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