idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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