I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
