Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We're too hungover to prance.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
