bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
