You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize