the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize