I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
